7 Ways you are unknowingly destroying your husband and killing your marriage.

We live in a sad time where more marriages end in divorce, than they do a happily ever after. That doesn’t mean to say, however, that all marriages are doomed. In fact, most marriages that fall apart only do so, because the two people in them don’t fully understand their partner’s needs and wants. All too often, problems in a marriage are put down to communication, but the truth is, that communicating about a problem is only half the battle and the other half is actually, working out exactly what those problems are.

1. Who comes first to you?

A marriage is a vow to dedicate your life to another person. This means that when they are sick, you care for them, it means that when they are doing well, you can share in their success and when they need somebody to lean on; you are there, as there pillar of strength. One of the biggest problems within a marriage actually stems from one or both parties putting everybody else’s needs, before their partners. You might not realize that you are doing this, but when was the last time you dropped everything for them?

2. Can’t you do anything right?

If you are sharing your life and your home with somebody, then at times, they are going to annoy you. That is just fact. It is impossible to share your life with somebody and not get disappointed or irritated from time to time. The thing is though, that if you vocalize the fact every time, then you are going to be putting a lot of negativity energy into your relationship. It is much better to vocalize the things they are doing right and bring positivity to the table instead.

3. But it was only a little white lie…

Sometimes we believe that telling a little white lie is better than telling the truth. This is especially true, if we believe that the truth will hurt a person we care about. The simple fact is though, that lies, no matter how small, have a way of being found out and if your partner finds out that you have been lying to them, then it might make them question whether you are trustworthy and even if you respect them.

4. The woman is always right.

Okay, so there is a long standing joke between spouses that the woman is always right and that it isn’t worth arguing against her. The important thing to take from that though, is that it is a JOKE. A marriage is about mutual respect and compromise and that means that sometimes, you have to admit that you are wrong, even if you don’t really believe it. This is what compromise is and compromise is vital to a marriage succeeding. If you cannot admit that you are wrong, then why should your partner?

5. I want it all.

It doesn’t matter whether you both work, or it is just one of you, the money that comes into the household is both of yours to share and that is something that should always be remembered. A lot of couples find that their relationship becomes under strain, when their financial security is at risk and that is because the blame always has to fall somewhere. If you want your marriage to work, then create a budget and stick to it. It is much better to live within your means, than to have a designer handbag carrying divorce papers right?

6. A little respect

You have taken a vow to support your husband in any way that he needs it. That is what marriage is and that means that you need to respect his dreams and thoughts. All too often people go into marriage with the idea that their partner’s will be the same person in ten years, as they are on the day of the wedding and that simply isn’t the case. Everybody changes, as time passes and you must respect your husband enough to accept these changes and not use them against him. After all, you expect your partner to respect you and the changes that you make in life, don’t you?

7. What did you say?

Okay, so listening to your husband tell you about last night’s football game or his day at work might not be the most exciting thing that you have heard all day, but that does not mean that you shouldn’t listen. If your husband cares enough about something to share it with you, then you should care enough about him to listen. After all, surely you expect him to listen to you when you tell him about your day and what’s happening in your life.

In conclusion

It can be all too easy in a marriage to point the finger and blame the other person for the relationship’s failings, but the truth is, that it takes two people to make or break a marriage. If you spend too long focusing on what your husband is doing wrong, then you might miss the chance to correct the things that you are doing wrong and this will only lead to resentment from both parties down the line.

If you feel, as though, your marriage is under strain, then rather than searching for the negatives in your partner, take a look at what you are doing and what you could be doing to make it better. Focusing on negativity, will only bread negativity, whilst if you focus on your partner’s positives, then you will find it much easier to make the changes you need to make.

Communication is a huge part of marriage, but you cannot hope to fix your relationship with talking, until you know what it is, that you need to talk about. Outlining the actual problems and focusing on fixing them, is much better than constantly saying there is a problem, but not being able to put your finger on it.

womenlogs

Editor’s Note:  If you’re in love with a man who is hard to pin down, afraid of commitment, and expects you to do all the work in the relationship, here is something you can do to change things. Click Here 

Related Posts